BUCKETS FILLED: 2
BUCKETS PENDING: 1
BUCKETS ABORTED: 1
BUCKETS PENDING: 1
BUCKETS ABORTED: 1
BUCKETS WAITING: 21
Before I die...
...I'm gonna take my mom to Greece. It's her dream trip, and after all the nightmares I've given her, I ought to do something nice. And also, Greek food is yummy. And also, Greek men are hot.
...I'm gonna rock a swimsuit, with confidence. Not trashy reality-TV 'look at my titties' confidence. Just 'I'm OK with this body and I'm not going to think about it at all because I'm too busy enjoying the water' confidence.*
*March 2013: DAMN! I thought I had this one. I put on a bikini for the first time in ages (mind you, to go to a suburban hotel pool in the Minnesota, not to Rehab at the Hard Rock in Vegas) and asked the hubs what he thought.
He looked me up and down and said while tap-dancing "Whatever you're comfortable in, sweetie."
...I'm gonna ask the Dalai Lama a question. A smart question. Not a question about boys or money.
...I'm gonna learn hip-hop dancing, yo.
...I'm gonna take my dad to an entire World Series. He loves baseball, I love hot dogs, and we both love vacations.
...I'm gonna spread out a blanket on a beach and fall asleep watching the stars. Hopefully I will wake up to the sunrise on my face, and not to a homeless guy digging for my wallet. Though really, the joke would be on him.
...
(This one is a work in progress - he's resisting my adoption offer,
but I think he's just playing coy.)
...I'm gonna be hypnotized on videotape so I can see what happens.
...I'm gonna give $10,000 to a complete stranger and ask them to do something frivolous for themselves with half of it and something kind for someone else with the other half.
...I'm gonna take my brother to Ireland and drink Guinness with him in a real Irish pub.
...I'm gonna take a trapeze lesson. Without bursting out of the leotard like a sausage casing.
...I'm gonna spend six months in Iceland, writing. And lounging in the hot springs like a sloth.
...
(DUDE! It was AWESOME! Except for that one night in Atlanta...)
...I'm gonna get me a gigantic bathtub. But it will be INSIDE, instead of those stupid bathtubs in all of the Cialis commercials. (And by the way, what's the point of having a raging boner if your woman is in a different tub?)
...I'm gonna buy myself a little house using money that I earned by writing.
...I'm gonna change the life of a child for the better. Preferably a niece or nephew if Neil would step up to the plate. Otherwise, I guess I'll mail-order-adopt one of those spindly-limbed potbellied kids from a yucky country. I'll send him Kraft mac-n-cheese and Dr. Seuss books and he can send me pictures of his hut and water jug.
...
Yeah, I changed my mind. Mark made me watch Friday the 13th. Turns
out I'm not really concerned with this bucket anymore.
...I'm gonna have a dinner of caviar and Cristal just once - to investigate how it compares to a dinner of Top Ramen and Mad Dog 20/20.
...I'm gonna take a trip to Las Vegas and see every single Cirque Du Soleil show in town.
...I'm gonna adopt an animal that was beaten or neglected, and smother it with kisses and table scraps.
...I'm gonna go skydiving. And not piss my pants.
...I'm gonna go on a spa vacation where you do yoga on the beach and eat dandelions for dinner. But I'm gonna sneak in some cheese and crackers for after my massages, because who the hell eats dandelions?
...I'm gonna live in a house on the water with a rocking chair on the back patio.
...I'
