Many women likely received expensive jewelry this holiday season, most ostensibly from their husband or lover. My husband gave me kitchen stuff for Christmas, but don't worry, I still got the bling. Just not exactly the kind of bling one wishes for.
wait for it...
What the fuckety fuck!?
My body is on strike. It won't absorb vitamins, I stutter, my brain doesn't do what it's supposed to, my muscles host their own dance parties that I'm not invited to, and now my heart's getting in on the action.
This post is entitled Bling and a Bomb. The bling refers to my new accoutrements. The bomb refers to the news I just got - NOT to my heart, I hope, please and thank you very much.
To make 2013 even cheerier, I got sacked.
Now to be fair, I realize a company can't hold a job indefinitely hoping someone stops being retarded and starts being a marketing manager again.
But wow. Losing insurance will just be the whipped cream on the disaster sundae. I'm sure I'll have no trouble getting new insurance. Who doesn't want to insure a walking catastrophe?
It's been said that when a door closes a window opens. I can't find the window right now. If anyone sees one, push me out of it, please.