|The cat was physically|
unscathed during the incident.
(Shut up! I'm Scandinavian...
Technically I only failed as a stepmother but I didn't see it coming. Worse still, I didn't even report her missing. I didn't notice she was gone until I stepped outside and heard frantic noise in the bushes.
Gabby ran away from home.
The screen was missing a screw and she smushed her fat ass right out the window. I'm not sure if she was headed for Catillac Ranch or Pussypalooza, but she made it to the gas pipe six inches outside the living room window, where she stood yowling in terror.
No food bowl out here in the wild!
No toasty warm radiator on top of which to nap!
No soft laps to nestle into!
WHAT IN THE NAME OF < INSERT DEITY'S NAME HERE> WAS SHE THINKING!?
The moment she caught sight of me she hurtled herself off the pipe toward my face...and kinda missed.
Despite looking like I'd been mauled by a baby bear, I forgave her instantly and coddled her after her traumatic time in the wilderness. I could tell she was shaken and not her usual self. She'd been stranded out there for at least twenty minutes, my poor stupid stepkitty.
That was when I feared I'd hopped into the shallow end of the crazy cat lady pool, but I took a poll on Facebook. I'm totally cool, we only have one cat.