No, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat.
The news is that I've finished writing my first full-length book, Confessions of a Recovering Cynic!
For those of you who enjoy this blog, you won't want to miss the book. Over 300 action-packed pages of debauchery and cautionary tales, including exclusive content never before published for my readers.
I've launched a project on Kickstarter to raise funds for the initial editing and printing run. The first editions will be used to shop agents and publishing houses in the hopes of getting published for realsies. Kickstarter, if you aren't familiar, is a secure online platform that people use to raise funds to output creative projects, such as a book or film.
Why would you pledge to support my project? I'm glad you asked. Here are the Top Ten reasons to back this print run:
10. It's risk-free! Kickstarter is ALL OR NOTHING funding. This means that if you pledge to support my project but I do not get enough backers to hit my number, your pledge is null and void. If my backers DO pledge enough to hit my number, then on March 31st, your credit card will be securely charged (through Amazon) in the agreed pledge amount.
9. By backing my project you are eligible for incentives and rewards! Get a copy of the book! Get tix to the book release party! Get a signed print of the cover artwork! Get a ginormous red butt plug, as made famous in the soon-to-be-famous book, Confessions of a Recovering Cynic!
8. This book will probably make you pee your pants.
7. This book contains all the dirt you'd ever need to blackmail any member of my family.
6. Pledge because you believe in supporting the arts.
5. Pledge because you believe in curling up on the couch with a book - not a Kindle - a BOOK.
4. Pledge your support in order to earn Karma point with the universe.
3. Donate because you love my parents and would like to see me earn enough money to NOT have to move back in with them. Again.
2. Donate because you believe in my writing and believe in helping others achieve their dreams.
1. And the number one reason to pledge your support? Someday, on the teeny tiny chance that my book gets picked up officially and becomes a bestseller, you can say 'I knew her when she was just another broke loser with a dream'...
So PLEASE visit my Kickstarter page. PLEASE pledge any support you can, and most of all, PLEASE share this information with your network.
Thank you so much for your love and support!