Stories abound of people who push forth with determination and faith. Paralyzed people who become yoga instructors. Cancer patients who speed their upbeat way to remission. People who conquer true disabilities in a way that seems - well - effortless.
I am not those people.
I finally gave in and went to a doctor, who informed me I have walking pneumonia. The only walking I'm aware of right now is the elephant that seems to be walking on my chest.
Yesterday I had the shakes and dropped all my antibiotic pills on the rug next to the cat's litter box. I cried.
The day before that I coughed until I retched on myself and peed my pants. I cried.
This morning I woke up trembling, sweaty and choking on my own breath. I wanted to cry again, but it seemed like too much work.
What I need right now is, I suppose, a bitch slap of reality upside the head. This is nothing that some super antibiotics and steroids shouldn't fix and a week from now I'll probably feel just lovely. So, until then, please feel free to leave comments telling me what a pussy I am and how you know people with real problems.
And now? I'm going to go snivel to the cat - because she doesn't care that I'm the pussy around here.
At least you have a snuggley Gabby to keep you company while you are sick. It's better than being alone, even if she can't bring you things and is laying on your chest.
ReplyDeleteOMG, girl. I laughed at this only because I had Bronchitis last year that quickly went to Pneumonia, and then into a double ear infection...all while I was on vacation, so I wasn't even home in my own bed, and I completely understand both coughing so hard you puke AND pee on yourself.....
ReplyDeleteGive yourself a break, and give your body time to kick some walking dead butt.....I mean....GET UP YOU LAZY BUM! People are starving in AFrica....yeah, whatever. Take care of yourself, and maybe bitch slap the cat for letting you be the only pussy in the house....
Wow really, I haven't coddled you or rubbed your back now have I ?? You make me sound like a big jerk :(
ReplyDeletePoor thing! It sucks to be sick. If it makes you feel any better, I peed in my pants just reading this -- no walking pneumonia required! Hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteOh noes! Take enough rest and Feel Better Soon!!! Xoxo
ReplyDeleteBabe, chill. Yes, you've rubbed my back. But you were at work when I was writing my whiny post and last I checked, your arms aren't that long.
ReplyDeleteYou're allowed to feel this way! Gosh, I feel sorry for myself when I have a headache, let alone an actual illness. Take this time and don't be too hard on yourself. Be kind to your body. And cuddle the cat :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon x
i had it last year too, along with a double ear infection and sinus infection. it seriously kicked my butt for 2 months because i didn't go to the doctor forever. rest. cut yourself some slack. there will be plenty of time left later when you're well again to be a superhero.
ReplyDeleteLove the hilarious view of your totally terrible sickness! ;) Yes, you're allowed to pamper yourself for a few days when you're- seriously!- sick. And yes, the world notices you're gone and misses you.
ReplyDeleteGet better!!
take your medicine and go to bed before I come kick your butt! BTW, LOVE the valium in your header!
ReplyDeleteBitchslappin is fun, isn't it? Lolz. Check out this video from Canadian comedian Josh Rimer which I found on YouTube! http://youtu.be/yDCk3NN_HAs
ReplyDeletei'm a pussy too...
ReplyDeletei've had this crud since the 24th... cough, chest congestion, fever, larygitis, and pissing myself every time i move....
lovely....
oh dear!!!! get well sweety ... i'm so sorry ... but now that they've got you drugged up, it should feel better soon xo
ReplyDeleteFeel better sooon!
ReplyDelete