THE SCENE
Emergency room, waiting for results of chest x-rays. I am laying on hospital bed in a sweaty pile of pee-soaked clothes and retching. Husband is growing bored, notices hospital bed contains built in scale. Pushes button.
Husband exclaims loudly "Hey! You lied! You weigh way more than you told that nurse!"
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THE SCENE
The first night I attempted to get up and cook dinner after the trip to the ER. Feeling like ass, not wanting to cook at all. Still wanting to be coddled. Getting ready to ladle food into serving dishes.
Husband says thoughtfully "You shouldn't bother with serving dishes, honey - it just means more dishes for you to do."
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THE SCENE
Our house. He's recently discovered I used to box and is rolling with amusement. I never technically fought anyone (since I was doing it as a workout) but he delights in this fact. The other day he leapt up and did a Rocky-esque warm-up dance.
Husband roars "And, now...here she is...the heavyweight champion of Eden Prairie!"
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But then...just as I'm ready to kill him...he cracks me UP.
THE SCENE
Discussing how lucky our fictitious kids are to have four grandparents who would love them and dote on them, to which Mark argues that my dad would not touch a baby. My dad is most noted for his ever-present iPod touch, cell phone and laptop computer and is known to email us...from the other room.
Mark offers a suggestion. "We'll just tell him a baby is like an iPad with arms and legs - it's interactive!"
I dissolve in giggles. "But no shaking it to reboot an application!"
Ha! He saved it with the interactive ipad suggestion, that was bloody funny :)
ReplyDelete(I did laugh at the weight scenario though, soz!)
people wearing pee-soaked clothes should be allowed to deduct a few pounds, i say.
ReplyDeleteOh damn. This is too great! Sounds exactly like my dad
ReplyDeleteLOL. Awesome ending. Did you muster the energy to smack him for weighing you at the hospital?! LOL.
ReplyDelete