I mean, she really likes to snuggle.
When I’m blogging, she resides in my lap. When I’m sleeping, she curls herself around my head.
Now, I love animals, and I’m not one to turn down free cuddles. But Gabby really needs to learn about boundaries.
She woke me up in the middle of the night raping my nose with her tongue. No joke – she licked me awake. I pushed her off, explained that NO means NO, returned immediately to dreamland, and forgot about it entirely.
Until I got up to brush my teeth and caught a glimpse of myself.
She licked a little patch of skin right off my nose.
Luckily, I’m fair-skinned and freckled, and it will be 90 and sunny today – so I can pretend it’s a sunburn. In the meantime, I’m waiting for a return call from my attorney. I’ll be doing a rape kit and prosecuting Gabby to the fullest extent of the law.