BUT NO VIRUS IS GONNA PISS ON MY HOLIDAYS, FOR CORN'S SAKE!
I'm drinking my screwdrivers with Airborne instead of Absolut and I'll stay in that hot shower until my skin blisters.
I'll gargle with Vicks if I have to.
It's the new year this weekend and I am going to party like it's 1999. You know, when I spent New Year's Eve drinking keg beer instead of Maalox. I had a lovely Christmas but I'm greedy, dammit. I want a good New Year with my shiny new husband, too.
I'm reading a book right now called If It Were Easy, They'd Call The Whole Damn Thing A Honeymoon - you may surmise it's a book about men and women and all their particular sterotypes. There's a chapter about how strong and stoic women are when they're sick and how snively men become after so much as a sneeze.
This book is very educational, as I've deduced I must have a secret penis tucked somewhere in my thigh chub - because evidently I am a man.
Stoic?
I WANT MY MOM!
I realize that this virus too shall pass and I must keep some manner of perspective. I am not having a stroke. Or a heart attack. Or a...cancer.
But...but...but...
I don't feeeeeeeeeeeeel good.
In the morning I'll go some vitamin fortified Frosted Flakes, too. Just to be safe.
I recommend making some gingeroot tea.
ReplyDeleteTake some fresh gingeroot, boil it for a few minutes in water, then serve it hot with a tablespoon of honey and a dash of lemon juice.
aw no! ginger tea and lotsa garlic too ... both are immune builders to help you fight, and the ginger soothes your throat.
ReplyDeleteto add to barb^^^i boil a shitload of it and boil it until it's super spicy, and murky. it will really help.
Ugh. Hope you feel better soon. And good luck with that penis.
ReplyDeleteC'mon, don't be jealous cause we can pee anywhere we want. It'll be ok.
ReplyDeleteTricia, it's been awhile, so I'm sorry to catch you in such a dismal condition. If it's any comfort my wife is suffering from the same malaise, and being about as stoic as you're being. Hope New Year's Eve finds you healthy and rejuvenated.
ReplyDeleteFeel better soon!! My mom made me sick -_-' so I am not soo happy either as I have a red nose and tiny eyes...so annoying! However I will party tomorrow as well! Or at least roll around if I'm too dizzy to stand hehe.
ReplyDeleteHave an awesome start of 2012, Sweet Tricia!! Xoxoxo
I have always found that I want my mommy when I am sick too. Is it bad to still want that at 37?
ReplyDeleteNaw, I don't think so.
Get better soon!!