So The Boy said he had a surprise for me yesterday....and he wasn't kidding.
SURPRISE! He woke me up at the ass crack of dawn. Oh, wait, that wasn't it.
SURPRISE! He cooked me breakfast and took me out for (desperately! needed!) coffee. But that wasn't it, either.
It was very educational.
We learned about the mating habits of tapirs. The boys, who are smaller than the females when most viable, are in danger during the courting process. If the female tapir decides she isn't interested, she may respond by pushing the male tapir's head underwater and drowning him. Men, take note: when we aren't in the mood, you'd best step off.
The Boy taught me how to differentiate between the male and female sharks. Who knew those weren't extra fins? Apparently they are aerodynamic testicles. (Kinda wondering why he knew that...)
But the real surprise came when we were ready to leave the zoo.
SURPRISE! He lost the car keys!
So we retraced all of our steps, slowly, because really - who doesn't want to see every inch of the zoo twice when it's nine degrees outside? We made a couple of pit stops at Guest Services to warm up, where we met a lovely lady named Sandy who assured us she was rooting for us. She told us she was impressed with our cool under pressure and The Boy admitted that he was feeling like a bit of a tool since this was our first whole day spent together.
I placed several calls to Triple A and we made arrangements for a locksmith to come out with a highly overpriced key. They told us it'd be about 90 more minutes, so we scrapped our dreams of a late lunch of Mexican food and headed for the zoo cafeteria. Just as we were polishing off our zoolicious sandwiches, The Boy was paged over the intercom. The keys? Had been found.
But of course.
"I think you two are going to end up getting married, and you should do it here at the zoo," she pronounced, presenting us with a glossy brochure entitled I Do at The Zoo.
Apparently we are the punchline.