Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Fuck the Children
I have issues with this.
Are our nation's future felons really a worthy charitable cause? Must we make their holidays merry?
These are the fuckers who will be robbing and stabbing us in fifteen years. Should we really chip in for the Christmas video game that teaches them offensive tactics?
Half of these baby mamas probably don't know for sure which daddy goes with which bastard - so you could just be buying shit for the kid with the garden variety deadbeat dad.
Felons are already getting room, board and three squares on our dime, so mightn't they just use their wages from the prison laundromat to buy their offspring, say, a book? That way perhaps their kid can come visit and teach them how to read. Win-win.
Or if their kids have champagne tastes and need designer sneakers or a gold-plated bong, mama needs to dip into the stash of drug money in the freezer, or turn an extra trick this weekend instead of turning to the red kettle.
Luckily, I have a solution. For all of you who planned on donating to the Salvation Army this holiday season, just buy me a gift instead. I haven't raped or killed anyone, and I don't have any bastards to raise up to follow in my bloody footprints.