All week we heard how great dogs are and what amazing dog owners they will be, so I decided to test them.
Dozer is pretty much the best dog in the world. Calm, well-trained, doesn't bark, submissive.
The girls fell in love. Brushing him and throwing the ball, giving him treats and applauding his tricks. We went to the park, we went on walks.
"Then you can carry in the bedding," suggested one kid.
This was not how I imagined things. Instead I handed them plastic bags and began pointing out piles in the yard.
Much wheedling and bickering commenced. It was critical that the number of turds were fairly divided and negotiations turned tense. It went unnoticed that I matched them two turds to one. I even picked up the fresh warmies.
As they gagged dramatically, I reminded them that if we get a dog, this is something we get to do every single day. Steaming summer piles and frozen winter piles.
Suddenly their love for Dozer diminished and they changed the subject. "Let's go swimming!"
Dog Test Results: Epic Fail
I miss my imaginary future dog already.