I meant to write to you sooner to tell you about your mommy but there were volleyball games and unicycle lessons and karate and vomiting and homework and lost hairbrushes, and clogged toilets fighting and giggles. And eleven loads of laundry.
See, this is what life is like with a family. It's loud and frustrating and hard and awesome and spectacular and wonderful - sometimes all at once.
Soon your mommy, Reena, will be so exhausted she won’t know her head from her booty*. But before she gets to permission slips and VID (Very Important Drama), she has to get through a few years of screaming, crying and poop. Er…um…just kidding. Those things might not end.
Here’s what you need to know. Reena is a strong, beautiful, smart Indian woman. She’s your salvation in the tanning department. She has a postgraduate degree, giant brown eyes and excellent manners. She looks pretty in every color – so will you.
Your mommy likes things organized. And neat. Really organized and neat. In fact, hold off on that walking thing as long as you can because it all kinda goes downhill from there. At least in the mess department.
Also Reena is a worrywart*. This means you will say but moooooom, everybody else gets/has/does about fourteen times a day. And it won’t be fair, because life is not. And there will be a lot of VID in your life. I can't wait to hear about it. When Mom gets tired of it, you come see me.
Reena is traditional and modest, so please don’t think you’re getting away with those shorts, young lady. A cami is not a shirt, jeggings aren’t pants, and no – you can’t have a tattoo! Because Mommy says so, that’s why! She always looks lovely so borrow something from her closet if you need to. Class never goes out of style.
You’ll need to prepare for something weird that happens when you are in double digits – you will be horrified by everything your mom does. Nothing she cooks will taste good, and nothing she does will be right. You have ten good years to get in your snuggles before this happens, though, so hop to it.
I have a secret about cuddling.
It’s just as delightful for the mommy as it is for the kid being snuggled, and it’s the probable reason you children thrive as a species. Otherwise we’d have accidentally on purpose smothered you all generations ago.
Aunties are excellent airbags in case of a Mommy Malfunction. When Reena crashes, I get to step in
I will never be as well-mannered as your mother or as organized, and I will certainly never be that tan. But I have it on good authority that I’m so much comfier to lay on than a mom. My friend’s son told me that when he was three, and he said it with such bliss and wonder that I almost forgave him for calling me fat.
I’m a little rusty we'd better practice snuggling this weekend.
Booty – this is the cool way to say BUTT.
Worrywart – a person who loves you SO MUCH that they constantly imagine all the terrible things that can happen to you in this world and panic about it. Try not to worry, Priya, most of the bad things that you worry about never happen and the awful things that do happen weren’t what you were expecting anyhow, so you’re still unprepared. My advice? Learn to laugh. Laugh at yourself and laugh at life. Laugh with love, though, don’t laugh at other people and hurt their feelings.